Well this post is well over due, and there's been a few things worth talking about since I posted last. Things have been a little up and down with me and Mistress since my last post, and I wasn't overly sure if our 'arrangement' was going to continue, and that it would just end up with us being a vanilla couple again (which I don't really want).
First thing that I wanna talk about is the flogging I copped the day after my last post. I had been letting a lot of things slide, like the cleaning, and not doing my training tasks and other little things. Mistress had been keeping tabs of these in her notebook, and so I ended up getting all the punishments from them in one go - 100 lashings with the whip ... and my god did it sting! I haven't had that kind of treatment from anyone before. When she started, I was keeping count in my head of each strike with the crop ... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... as I got into the teens I was starting to let out some groans of pain as Mistress made a game of seeing if she could strike the same spots on my ass over and over ... 15, 16, 17 ... then we got into the twenties, and I started to loose track a little, the pain was getting to me ... 27, 28, ... was the 28 or 29 .... 31 maybe ..... damn this hurts! She was viscous, and by the time she hit 30 I had lost count totally, and was squirming around helplessly. Mistress had tied my hands to the top of the bed, but my bottom half was free to move, so I started to instinctively move away from her and her whip. She countered by moving and hitting me harder. I was screaming into the pillows, my ass burned and stung like you would not believe, I was starting to think it would never end - and then, thankfully the whipping stopped. I lay face down in the bed catching my breath, and then it occurred to me that I had been shedding a few tears from the exercise. My ass was bright red, and I saw the next day that it had left me bruised in a few places - Mistress had made her point.
After that, I kept up my cleaning and stuff, but we had a couple of weird weeks, and a holiday in between, and there wasn't a whole lot of time for the Mistress.slave thing ... saying that it sounds like an excuse to me though, so its probably my fault that things weren't happening. But when I got home from work today, I found a list of chores that Mistress had left for me, and after having written about the punishment I got last week, I'll be damn sure to do as much of it as I can! The only thing about today's chores though is that I'm finding myself lacking in the motivation department - it was a long afternoon at work, and when I got home I was kinda looking for some relax time ... I know that my Mistress comes first though, so I have been doing the chores, but I can't help but wonder what a slave does to make motivation for themselves on those days that you need just a little more. Don't get me wrong, I love my Mistress and I love serving her, I just sometimes find myself lacking in the motivation department .... that probably makes me a bad slave, I dunno.
Well anyways I think this post is quite large enough, so that'll do for tonight. Mistress has asked me to keep this blog more up to date, writing once every day or two, so that's what I'll be doing from now on.
Tuesday, 10 April 2007
Wednesday, 28 March 2007
Discovering more about myself
So I've been flicking through a few other 'slaves' blogs lately, and its interesting to know how other submissives write about how they feel and the things that they have done to them. It makes for an interesting perspective on my own position, and things I hope that come from my own training.
There are plenty of slaves out there that enjoy more than a little bit of pain, and it sorta made me realise just how much I fall into the same boat, like a lot more than I realised. For example, last night after I got home, I did a little tidying up, but the house wasn't spotless as it should have been, so when Mistress got home I was given a mildly severe attack with the whip. When Mistress comes at me with the whip though, she makes a game of trying to hit the exact same spots over and over, so if I get 20 hits, then usually that means two spots on my ass will get 10 hits each, so by the time that same spot gets a flogging over and over, I'm usually screaming into the pillow or mattress in pain, but afterwards I usually find myself with a big, hard, pulsing erection (that's when I'm not wearing my lock) and I find myself admiring the red marks on my ass in the mirror - I love it.
So that has pretty well confirmed it for me, I am much more of a masochist than I first thought. But its more than just the pain, its just being abused in general that I think does it for me. Again, reading some other posts from other submissives, hearing them talk about how their 'tops' push them around, pull their hair, slap them in the face so hard that hours later they still feel the sting and think about why they were punished. If it weren't for my lock I would be hard at the thought (so instead I try to get hard and the spikes push hard on the base of my cock, causing me more pain, which makes me want to get harder!).
In conclusion, I don't think there is really too much of a point to today's post, just wanted to share some thoughts with you. Hope you found them interesting!
There are plenty of slaves out there that enjoy more than a little bit of pain, and it sorta made me realise just how much I fall into the same boat, like a lot more than I realised. For example, last night after I got home, I did a little tidying up, but the house wasn't spotless as it should have been, so when Mistress got home I was given a mildly severe attack with the whip. When Mistress comes at me with the whip though, she makes a game of trying to hit the exact same spots over and over, so if I get 20 hits, then usually that means two spots on my ass will get 10 hits each, so by the time that same spot gets a flogging over and over, I'm usually screaming into the pillow or mattress in pain, but afterwards I usually find myself with a big, hard, pulsing erection (that's when I'm not wearing my lock) and I find myself admiring the red marks on my ass in the mirror - I love it.
So that has pretty well confirmed it for me, I am much more of a masochist than I first thought. But its more than just the pain, its just being abused in general that I think does it for me. Again, reading some other posts from other submissives, hearing them talk about how their 'tops' push them around, pull their hair, slap them in the face so hard that hours later they still feel the sting and think about why they were punished. If it weren't for my lock I would be hard at the thought (so instead I try to get hard and the spikes push hard on the base of my cock, causing me more pain, which makes me want to get harder!).
In conclusion, I don't think there is really too much of a point to today's post, just wanted to share some thoughts with you. Hope you found them interesting!
Monday, 26 March 2007
Keeping up to standards
Today was a busy day at work, so I was kinda looking forward to a little relax time when I got home, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to do it, as I had let the house slip into a bit of a mess and it needed to be cleaned ... pretty badly actually. Mistress has been letting me get away with this actually, which kinda surprised me, but I knew that wouldn't last forever. So I got home, and I cleaned for a few hours, every room of the house, and I think it looks pretty good. I'll have to wait and see what Mistress says when she gets home.
Also on the topic of standards, I thought I might share the highlights of my slave contract with you. So here is sort of a summary in point form:
Also on the topic of standards, I thought I might share the highlights of my slave contract with you. So here is sort of a summary in point form:
- I must wear a symbol of ownership at all times, being either a) my actual collar (when in private) or b) a public collar, which is in the form of a leather wrist band.
- It sets out a daily routine for me, detailing what I must do at various times of the day.
- It details guidelines on recreation time, expenditure, behavior in public and private as well as exclusions.
- It details daily training tasks that I should perform each day without being prompted. At the moment that includes a minimum of 10 minutes of having pumps hard on my nipples, as well as having a medium sized toy in my ass for a minimum of 10 mins (I usually manage 30 with the pumps and at least an hour with the butt plug - and that's usually because I try to find a bigger one after a while and see how I go with that! I like to please so I try to train my hardest)
- It specifies that I am only allowed to orgasm with permission of my Mistress, so if she says no, then that means no. Also I am required to wear my chastity lock at all times when I am not with Mistress (I plan on posting some photos of the lock this week sometime)
- It outlines how I am to be punished when I break the rules. We've chosen to make up a set of punishment cards, ranging from level 1 (for small breaks) to 5 (for massive breaks). Mistress will pick an appropriate card for each punishment as see shes fit.
- And last, but definitely not least, whatever Mistress says goes, no questions asked.
There are plenty of good resources on the net if your looking at putting a contract together, we found heaps of stuff and putting this together, so it was pretty easy.
Anyway that's enough from me for now, I really should go and finishing my cleaning so I don't cop another punishment (Mistress can be quite mean with the whip!)
Sunday, 25 March 2007
Welcome to my world
Well here I go, entry number one in a new blog ... but I haven't exactly done a blog like this before. I've never really been the best writer in the world either, but this is something that I really wanted to do, and my Mistress wants me to as well, so here it is.
This blog is basically going to describe my life in my slavery to my Mistress. The first thing that I will point out about our relationship is that this is all consensual, I freely give myself to her, there is no abuse here. I wasn't exactly sure what to write about, or how to write it, or what I wanted to get out of this, but after floating around the net and finding some excellent blogs of other BDSM loving slaves, I sorta got a taste for it and decided to start writing.
So I'll start by describing the relationship I have with my Mistress. We have been together in a regular relationship for just over 16 months now. I love her and she means the world to me. We had often dipped into the world of BDSM play, we had both switched roles as Dominant and submissive, but we hadn't done anything too far out there. After we had done plenty of play, I had found myself always yearning to be the submissive one ... I can't really explain it, but I loved it.
A couple of weeks ago I mentioned the idea to her of a 24/7 style of BDSM relationship, where I would become her property - a full time slave, for everything sexual and non-sexual. She seemed intrigued by it and we started to look more into it. We found some great resources on the Internet, and before you know it we had our first Mistress/Slave contract drawn up. I'll talk about the contract itself in another post though as it was a fairly detailed piece of work.
So that brings you pretty much up to date with the starting point here, I am the slave, and my Mistress owns me. I'm here only to serve her, and I love doing so, I really do. I want to become a 'perfect' little slave (if there is such a thing) and I want my Mistress to mould me into that. So we'll see how this all goes, I'll document it all here for you to read, and I'll also have some pictures here too eventually. That's about it for now I guess, stay tuned for more in the near future.
This blog is basically going to describe my life in my slavery to my Mistress. The first thing that I will point out about our relationship is that this is all consensual, I freely give myself to her, there is no abuse here. I wasn't exactly sure what to write about, or how to write it, or what I wanted to get out of this, but after floating around the net and finding some excellent blogs of other BDSM loving slaves, I sorta got a taste for it and decided to start writing.
So I'll start by describing the relationship I have with my Mistress. We have been together in a regular relationship for just over 16 months now. I love her and she means the world to me. We had often dipped into the world of BDSM play, we had both switched roles as Dominant and submissive, but we hadn't done anything too far out there. After we had done plenty of play, I had found myself always yearning to be the submissive one ... I can't really explain it, but I loved it.
A couple of weeks ago I mentioned the idea to her of a 24/7 style of BDSM relationship, where I would become her property - a full time slave, for everything sexual and non-sexual. She seemed intrigued by it and we started to look more into it. We found some great resources on the Internet, and before you know it we had our first Mistress/Slave contract drawn up. I'll talk about the contract itself in another post though as it was a fairly detailed piece of work.
So that brings you pretty much up to date with the starting point here, I am the slave, and my Mistress owns me. I'm here only to serve her, and I love doing so, I really do. I want to become a 'perfect' little slave (if there is such a thing) and I want my Mistress to mould me into that. So we'll see how this all goes, I'll document it all here for you to read, and I'll also have some pictures here too eventually. That's about it for now I guess, stay tuned for more in the near future.
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